May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
