We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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