this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
