you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
