I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
