I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
