I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
