I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
