doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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