omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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