Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize