i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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