I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
