My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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