Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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