Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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