he was CRYING into my vagina
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
