Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
