wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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