I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
