Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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