I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
