I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize