I need help removing her.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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