Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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