I wanna bring you to show and tell
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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