I'm gonna have a badass scar
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
