I got chris browned last night
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
this hospital has no fireball
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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