I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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