I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
