I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Rumble strips road head = magical
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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