And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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