ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
