I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
