I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
