He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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