so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
