We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
