How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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