idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hate all girls vehemently.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
