definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize