I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
