idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
