I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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