I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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