god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
