Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
