You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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