I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
