Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
