woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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