Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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