Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
