I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
