My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize