Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Randomize
