We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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