I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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