I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
