i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
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He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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