Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
